sun and moon

you said your eyes were melting

trying hard to cry but not capable of it

when i had to walk away

your eyes were green

they had chips of brown

like a falling tree in the forest snapping cracking breaking screaming in pain

thud

it fell upon us

filled the car

the impact of everything

and i felt so bad i grew unsure but i was sure

you held my face

and begged me

you held my hands

and pleaded

and i broke

the mess inside my teen age mind

would make no sense

i am in love with someone else

and as much as you mean to me

you deserve to find the love that lasts

that works

im sorry for the pain ive caused

but im praying on my knees

dear God let him breath

let him smile

give him love

dont forget him

amen

im so sorry …

amen

</3

hush up and lay next to me

just the way we always wanted

the way we never could

we can interlace our fingers

close out eyes beneath the over pass

the sound of cars

fading in to the distance

do what you promised me

take me away

collect my tears

hide them so ill never have to see or feel them again

just like you promised

kiss me goodnight

just like you promised

love me always

just like you promised

take me away

following the wind

wherever it goes

hear the stories

that whistle past our ears

tickled by sounds

just like you promised but

so many days ago

you promised

so many days

you left

forgot to pick me up

and i waited at the gate

for hours

for days

for years

i was so young

so naive

so in love

convinced

that everyone was wrong

that at fourteen i could love

and be loved back

but i sunk

in the ocean of my uncollected tears

tasting regret and false hope

just to be proved right

when the fact has now complicated itself

proving our romeo juliet situation

to be our downfall

the wrong place the wrong time

fighting against everything and everyone

trying to make puzzle pieces from a different box

fit and they could make no logical sense

in the overall  picture of things

so tell me please someone any one

where do we go from here

what now ?

[not finished]

wait so after thursday swimming we were at jay in the bay [jack in the box] and we ordered food and before this point i was STARVING  but we ordered our food i sat down with candice when i seriously went numb from what i saw out the window,ok not what but who .this view made me want to throwup all lactic acid existing in my stomach and pass out on the floor .i waited an caught him on his j walking return to the parking lot .this friend of mine knows me better than any other person i know he tears through my insignificant layers of defense exposing me like a skinned animal .the moment of relazation of who we were at that moment was earth shaking and scary and i cried in front of him.despite my attempts to be strong as i always said i would be .we cant hate each other we cant and we talked and exchanged numbers and are in the process of becoming friends again .

i tumble sometimes

i fight my eyes from staring down at the ground

walking downtown

staring at my feet right left right

but my crooked walking

doesnt come close

to my speech

tongue twisted

the loss of comprehension

between my mind and my lips

leaving me like a glacier

exposing only the surface

of my being

certain to bring disaster

hello

some say im confident

friendly and gregarious

quick to make friends

but even quicker to lose them

scared of looking forward as i walk

scared of who i am

of who i can be

childish

sick to my stomach from the orgasmic nature

of life

i mumble when i speak normaly

but here

i am so much better

here you comprehend me

here i fear not your rejection

i dont need you to like me

here i shake

already broken down ive got nothing to hide

i am figments of crushed dreams

shards of old memories

i am in love … with him

friends with you

i am still scared but not

as much

ufe

ive got this pretty head of hair they say

and lovely eyes

they ask me why im so pretty

i ask them if their blind

they tell me to sit still

cross my legs

how to hold my knife and fork

how to never speak

so i read

and read and listen and read

listen

and i ask a question one night over a dinner

with fish and bottled water

and in unision like some kind of choir

ha hahahhahahahaha

how cute shes trying to be smart

yes because suddenly questioning the lack of sincerity

in your political plans is smart

because asking

if an economy based on credit

is a reliable one ?

“go get us coffee”

pardon me ?

but these lovely eyes see through shit like this

and beneath my gorgeous locks

ive got a brain

and these hands will eat you with justice

so have your conversations

and brag about the plastic that gets you hot to spend

and ill be out getting the poor you see with biased eyes

ill love like my own and we will band together

to carry you off your high chairs

put you to bed

made with love

yours truly then get fucked

by those you trusted

to bathe you in green

and well be off

in true anarchy

living life the way it should be

justified

do you know how you run those moments in your head over and over and over again

and you just wait

cant wait for it to happen again

then you run by how that will happen and you just want to roll around in the grass like your dog does bathe in the sun

and smile so big people think somethings wrong with you

i dont even know how you feel

but if it feels half as good as this <3

text me already

my tongue is twisted but i want to scream

ive been so used to feeding poison

to the plants ive wanted to grow

watching the buds thrive for days and months

flowering into everything ive ever wanted

bound to die

paying with the price of shallow attraction

i thought it would be the same

so i lived with out for a while

but to be honest at the moment im falling

in what ever may it be called

infatuation adoration love

but its feeding me

with what ever

i want to scream at the

top of my lungs

standing bare feeling beautiful

uncaring for the goals

i want to press my lips against yours

see if i can taste the flavor of your words

the simplicty of everything

and im content

and im insane

and for some reason

this time let it grow

little shop of horrors

be violent

be cruel

be kind

be be be

be this with me ?

Protected: it is tempting

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

rain rain

there is something lovely

about rain that sprinkles

so lightly

yet together forms puddles every where

tiny oceans filled with micro organisms

sailed by brave leaves dying for adventure

stepped upon by tiny giants

dressed in rubber suits

rain sprinklettes kissing your face over and over

so you don’t forget

that this earth loves you

every miniscule part

embracing you in that cold air

so no matter how warm you dress

its seeps in chilling your body

like that first look

in love again

first rains

long rains

overhead clouds

that look like comfy pillows

carrying you off

far away away away

dream away

and smile again

cfjkkj

counting

one by one

when reality works in my favor

long a tedious day straining

me like some kind of fool

in love

but of course that is what i am

submerged in adoration that creeps up my spine

like tiny spiders

evicted from their wall

searching for solace

just like i do imagining

safety nets woven with care

destroyed with bristled sticks

to clean

to wipe away

all the fear you cause

that glows in your face

a movie screen

tell our story clear as crystal

the worst part is

no one cares