why cant i ever say no ?

gah   i say no  right when it doesnt matter but always yes when it promises the giving up of me

with chapped lips 

let me kiss your hands 

because i love what you write 

kiss your neck 

kiss you mouth 

i love the way you sing

i cover my eyes so i can take it in 

everything you say 

is amazing

 

 

im so in love with your voice, with your words, i wanna kiss your writing hands i wanna taste words off your lips and i’ve never met you

i feel like a child 

wanting wishing 

for things im certain exist 

like unicorns and pots of gold under rainbows

but ive found the unattainable 

the boy made up of purely song 

he isnt real 

he is a floating melody in my mind 

yes i love him and 

reality holds no comparison

ive been thinking about you recently 

and how much i wish i could see you one last time 

how id find you

what i would say 

how you would act 

i reason youd either avoid me 

or pick me up in you arms 

and ask me to run away

you told me once 

you would use your charm to get girls 

attracted to you for fun

im scared i was just one of those 

you said i wasnt but where the hell are you now??

 

 

 

on another note  i miss singing 

alot

but i really like folk/indie 

i wish i could sing that but i cant :[

i wanna feel sand through my toes 

watch only sunrises with you im tired of 

always having to say goodbye and goodnight

 

 

sa drôle comment certaines personnes laissent une telle impression sur vous

i met a russian 2 yrs younger than me i wanted to swim in his eyes and hold his beautiful hands 

 

i felt like a pedo 

i need a vacation to run like a child 

not knowing at all where im going 

but loving the sensation of flying

wear the pretty purple chiffon dress to the party 

that lasts till to late at night 

that requires handsome dates

painful heels the night yuoll remember

the faces youllforget

like driving down town 100 miles per hour

blurry lights blurry faces  blurry life 

living to fast 

to recall the last time you kissed and ment it

shook hands and ment it 

or even remember the poor fucker 

you left in bed this morning

your dress is pretty purple chiffon 

short enough to grab attention 

long enough avoid  female glares 

that feel crude like dull pointy needles 

filled with jealousy and un-approval 

pretty and purple over used for speed excitement 

ripped off by lusty thoughts 

i hear your shoes click on the concrete 

getting a ride home 

some home 

some place 

you forgot how you arrived 

you stared at the window and laughed 

wide eyed like a childs first time in disney land 

before you know its all plastic 

like your girlfriends new chest 

blasting moments music forgotten in two months 

replaced in seconds 

its hip 

were hip 

we are young 

you are young 

run fast 

drink slow 

kiss smooth 

fuck everything

you had a pretty purple chiffon dress

over worn 

over used 

over thrown 

by time 

its frayed at the edges missing seams 

dull lavender and looks like cheese cloth 

and you try so fucking hard to remember 

everything you did in that dress

spread out threads 

delicate and thin memories

torn cheaply replaced

you looked beautiful 

but your not the same anymore

goals 

-find a lover/bf 

-kiss the stars

-stay out too late

-catch falling leaves

-meet new friends 

-hang out 

-go down a hill

-learn to slide

-beach !!!!!!!

-sd roadtrip suckasss

-help at work 

-hang out with peets coffee peeps 

-SUMMER SCHOOL thing i have to dooo

….

 

the plot thickens

gnrej gmrke nfe frnejgnr ngr nnr rgnrjngngjren nfrng nfjreng fnegjn regnr ngren ngreng

jdwqe ipioi zxcd nmn wer yuituy dshjg ladjsk mzxbcv rtiov

ten fingers that serve as brushes 

paint murals of humanity on skylines

mistaken for the dawn 

remember the feelings 

turn happiness to yellows 

loves to melted purple

life turns to you

paint me

-finish summer school

-survive dumb parents 

…. im to upset

Its this skin that has become my cage

flesh rotting away my soul my fervor

wrinkling against time

and damaged with  harsh reality 

explain  why 

when i know that this “mortal coil”

holds me down 

they say its gravity but i know better

my soul is restless eager to escape

crawling out my mouth tasting wind 

like freedom

catching on fire like oil 

impassioned 

then crawls back inside me 

fearing its last view 

the scariest sight 

you 

because i care so much 

what you think and 

feel

but the possibility of 

of your rejection is overwhelming 

“don’t care what others think” 

“just be yourself “

but what if ourself isn’t 

good enough 

all this preparation and pep talk 

leaves us like story books with no pages

and we walk through our lives wearing cages 

used more like armor

to keep chance out

but im daring myself 

to let you in

have shooting stars be flash backs 

of our space traveling bodies shuffling off skin 

getting to know each other 

really know each other

shamefully

but never regretful 

always passionate 

loving

and after 

lay next each other like fallen trees

with nothing left to lose

intertwining fingers and branches

in between dimensions 

that forgot to include time 

meshed together sunrise an sunset

filling the sky with our chances

explosion

free for all

paint

on atmospheres canvas

with our finger tips

leave our initials on the sand 

swept away told 

to passer bys 

becoming legends

larger than giants 

on steroids

i promise youll hit home runs

every time you hold my hand

and whisper our future like ocean breeze

wrap your arms around me like 

blankets on winter evenings

but for right now unzip me

so you can see my skeleton and organs fly away

see my flawless

slightly used soul 

kiss me

so we might taste eden 

from our bedrooms