there is something lovely
about rain that sprinkles
so lightly
yet together forms puddles every where
tiny oceans filled with micro organisms
sailed by brave leaves dying for adventure
stepped upon by tiny giants
dressed in rubber suits
rain sprinklettes kissing your face over and over
so you don’t forget
that this earth loves you
every miniscule part
embracing you in that cold air
so no matter how warm you dress
its seeps in chilling your body
like that first look
in love again
first rains
long rains
overhead clouds
that look like comfy pillows
carrying you off
far away away away
dream away
and smile again
counting
one by one
when reality works in my favor
long a tedious day straining
me like some kind of fool
in love
but of course that is what i am
submerged in adoration that creeps up my spine
like tiny spiders
evicted from their wall
searching for solace
just like i do imagining
safety nets woven with care
destroyed with bristled sticks
to clean
to wipe away
all the fear you cause
that glows in your face
a movie screen
tell our story clear as crystal
the worst part is
no one cares
i dont mind
that you pick me apart
i feel more naked than i ever have
when i open my mouth
can you smell
my rotting tongue
from all those things i cant tell you
because to be honset
i lack
what i need most
i lack the guts to stand up and tell you everything and
press my lips close to yours
tell you to shut the fuck up
because i can swear to him
im worth it
that my veins
and my heart
pump more than blood
but also passion
and despite my lack of the words that matter to me
those that i swear i cant tell you
let me show you
hold my hand
and ill tell you everything
maybe
i just wont use words
finally and it felt kind of good after woke up in my fathers bed
he had tucked me in .
but to why i broke down
. ********************************************************
i tried so hard not to cry when you pointed out things about myself i couldnt fix ,to make you like me .and you kept picking and picking AND PICKING till finally i broke down just cried in bed .i couldnt understand why you were being mean even if you meant it as a joke it hurt so so so very much .and today i saw you and i wanted to tell you that i wished you would take me seriously .give me a chance
i chucked the cup i made with all the ugly glazes
one moment
one memory
the recaps
passing through
the forest
that is your hair
caressing skin
open eyes
fluttering eyelashes
the sun is coming in
the fall leaves float down
turning colors as they reach the ground
crackling underneath out stomping march to no where
to everywhere
alley way kisses
that resonate on our lips
echos
i love yous
catching time in between our fingertips
shaping clouds to our imagination
lay next to me again
lay on top of me again
lay under
lay with me
lay free with me
free from
expectations
the grass makes my skin itch
pick up lets run
run as fast as we can
fall flat on our faces on pavement
let the adrenaline deal with our pain
then stand up and fly
to all those places you promised
sing songs we never heard
my finger tips are cold and your hands
hold mine
subtly but filled with more cradiling our
feeling our hope desires
balanced perfectly on
our winter breaths
you told me to fucking buy it ?
you said that was the best way
and me such a silly girl
had the thoughts run through my head whati should buy
what the hell is wrong with me
then i am almost certain
i will still
wish for you to text me
but i cant because
ive played this game with my self
far to many times
and im done
rolling dice that
lead me no where
done going in circles for some fucker
that doesnt care
but its hard to stop a cycle
maybe theres some kind of aa meeting i can attend
how to not date or like jerks
i cant stop writing
and Boy you have me hurting
heart burning
i like you
i do
like .. like like you
want to grab your face and kiss you like you
do anything for you like you
listen to you every time you speak
lack bias
simply accept
and enjoy your company
and youve turned me down
time and time again and im curious ….
is it worth it
why would i hurt so much if it wasnt ?
or am i the cause to my pain fill my self up
hopes high
thith no way down
my fall and heartbreak comes with
shallow sound
i am a heart breaker
not of men
but of myself
sticking my hand
covered in critisim handed to me
ripping out my heart
so i can taste
the self vengance
of my fear then chuck
my palpitating organ
suffocating
slowly
at a wall
where like glass
falling it shall meet
fate
stain my stupidity to
verify
past statements
that i am a fool
but dont stop there cut off my hands
winding and winding string
till purple
they will pop of
easier
than you think i am
poke out my
eyes with
stubbed wrists
because these
eyes realize
that i
am nothing
more than a pathertic cliche
striving for someone elses will
hoping it
will satisfy
my need of acceptance
let me lay it down
tie my dreams to this town
cuz in my eyes
i am no good
and all this shit that happens
should
and i can rhyme
from time to time
but overall dont bet a dime
i have no talent
but im sooo ambitious
act so fucking vicious
for things
but this mirror
screams fuck up
sound rings
just like my elders
who just lost hope
in this fuckinf dope
so try me
but stop lying
because this talent you see
is fucking blasphemy
